Penultimate time waster

For reals. Fuck those pointy horses!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.

You can even pick “good nights”

(510): he said he didn’t have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that’s fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah – he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

Or “worst”

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother…or stop drinking so much…I don’t want to see this

(619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

500 pages…hope nobody dies anytime soon.

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